Self-Compassion in Therapy: A Missing Piece for Adults Navigating Anxiety, Trauma, and Life Transitions

As a licensed psychologist providing online therapy for adults in Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Vermont, I frequently work with people who are driven, capable, and outwardly successful—but inwardly struggling. Whether they’re navigating anxiety, burnout, trauma, perfectionism, or major life changes, there’s often a common thread: they’re incredibly hard on themselves.

In a culture that rewards productivity and self-criticism, many adults come to believe that pushing themselves harder is the only path forward. But what actually fosters resilience and long-term well-being isn’t more pressure—it’s self-compassion.

What Is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself with the same patience and care you would offer a close friend. It doesn’t mean ignoring your mistakes or struggles—it means facing them with kindness, not judgment.

There are three core elements of self-compassion:

• Mindfulness – Acknowledging difficulty without exaggeration or avoidance

• Common humanity – Understanding that pain and imperfection are part of the human experience

• Self-kindness – Offering support to yourself instead of harsh self-criticism

In my work with adults in high-stress roles, caregivers, healthcare professionals, parents, and trauma survivors, self-compassion is often the key to emotional healing that other tools alone can’t unlock.

Why Self-Compassion Matters in Adult Mental Health

Many of the clients I see—whether they’re dealing with chronic anxiety, exhaustion from caregiving, or pressure from demanding careers—carry a loud inner critic. It might sound like: “I should be doing more,” “Why can’t I handle this better?” or “Everyone else seems to be coping—what’s wrong with me?”

This inner voice keeps the nervous system in a constant state of alert and prevents emotional recovery.

Self-compassion interrupts that cycle. It allows space for healing by:

• Reducing anxiety and shame

• Regulating the nervous system (especially important for trauma and chronic stress)

• Fostering motivation rooted in values, not fear

• Strengthening emotional resilience and boundaries

Self-compassion is particularly powerful in trauma-informed therapy. For clients healing from developmental trauma, PTSD, or adverse life events, learning to respond to their pain with gentleness can be a radical—and life-changing—act.

How Therapy Can Help You Cultivate Self-Compassion

Through online therapy across MA, RI, and VT, I help adults integrate self-compassion into evidence-based approaches, including:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – to identify and shift patterns of self-criticism

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – to build psychological flexibility and self-awareness

• Mindfulness-based interventions – to increase emotional presence and reduce reactivity

• Trauma-informed care – to create a sense of internal safety and self-trust

Therapy provides the structure, accountability, and tools to shift deeply rooted beliefs about worth, productivity, and identity—especially for perfectionists, high-achievers, and adults going through significant transitions.

Everyday Practices to Build Self-Compassion

You don’t have to wait for therapy to begin this work. Small changes can make a big difference:

• Pause and notice your self-talk: Ask, “Would I say this to someone I care about?”

• Use grounding phrases like “This is hard, and I’m not alone,” or “I’m doing the best I can.”

• Practice small acts of kindness toward yourself, such as taking breaks without guilt or setting boundaries that honor your needs.

• Acknowledge your limits without shame: You are not meant to carry everything alone.

You Deserve the Same Care You Give to Others

Self-compassion is not a weakness—it’s a strength that allows you to heal, set boundaries, and move through life with greater ease. If you’re ready to stop beating yourself up and start building a more supportive relationship with yourself, therapy can help.

📅 Interested in exploring self-compassion in therapy?I offer virtual therapy for adults in Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Vermont—flexible, trauma-informed, and tailored to your needs.

Schedule a free consultation to learn how self-compassion can support your healing, growth, and emotional well-being.